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If Mobile Games Were Honest – Honest Ads Android, iOS Parody

If Mobile Games Were Honest – Honest Ads Android, iOS Parody – Hi, Im Roger. Do you have a brain? If so, my company, Horton Mobile Gaming would like to offer you a mobile game.

Some call it a casual game, or most accurately, Horton Mobile Gaming would like to offer you a feedback loop of colors and shapes and sounds, thatll get your brain high on arbitrary rewards. You see, without stimulation, the brain tends to be sad and scared, and bored, just because. Thats one reason, you already own these electric toys, but why not use these toys to take my electric drug.

The Horton Brand Psychologically Optimal Colorful Shape Tapper. Its the kind of game that babies play, but you seem to like it to, so here, just download this digital heroin onto your chosen magical screen and play with it, a lot, whenever and where ever. When you do, your brain will get high. – Thank you. – laughing Oh please, we give away our feedback loops for free, so youll get addicted to them. All we ask is that you give us a good rating, and we ask it ever hour until you give us any rating, and you should probably buy the ad-free version if you want to see a reasonable amount of your screen. Horton Psychologically Optimal Color Shape Tapper was built so youll make more progress in it, if you buy imaginary items, or power-ups, or whatevers.

Eventually, its not winnable, unless you buy whatevers, but, good luck. To keep it interesting, Ill introduce a new color or shape of whatever, every once in a while. Itll get your brain slightly more high than normal, once. If you get tired of Hortons Psychologically Optimal Color Shape Tapper, Ive also made Hortons Psychologically Optimal Tapping of Colorful Shapes.

Youre hard wired to want to win, no matter how abstract or childish the goal is, and to be chemically rewarded, no matter how trivial the winning is, so the details of my game dont really matter. Sure, I could make the colorful shapes resemble people or creatures, or add some sentences about the storied struggle between certain colorful shapes and other colorful shapes. I could hire a famous celebrity, whos willing to act like bopping cartoons on the top of the head, as an epic quest. – Rally your bravest thumbs. – Beep that beep. laughing This beep gets ya high, so its just colors and shapes.

We dont even have to advertise. Our target market is anyone whos ever had spare time or pooped within the last eight years. – You got anymore of those whatevers? – Oh, as many as you can buy, they basically dont exist. – Perfect. – Perfect. – Hey, you like standup. Come see the Cracked Standup Show.

Its happening June 22nd at Meltdown Comic in Los Angeles. If you want to see amazing comics, including our own Josh Sargent, go to nerdmeltla.comtickets. And if you want to see me do a funny dance, sorry not today.

If Mobile Games Were Honest – Honest Ads Android, iOS Parody – Hi, Im Roger. Do you have a brain? If so, my company, Horton Mobile Gaming would like to offer you a mobile game.

Some call it a casual game, or most accurately, Horton Mobile Gaming would like to offer you a feedback loop of colors and shapes and sounds, thatll get your brain high on arbitrary rewards. You see, without stimulation, the brain tends to be sad and scared, and bored, just because. Thats one reason, you already own these electric toys, but why not use these toys to take my electric drug. The Horton Brand Psychologically Optimal Colorful Shape Tapper.

Its the kind of game that babies play, but you seem to like it to, so here, just download this digital heroin onto your chosen magical screen and play with it, a lot, whenever and where ever. When you do, your brain will get high. – Thank you. – laughing Oh please, we give away our feedback loops for free, so youll get addicted to them. All we ask is that you give us a good rating, and we ask it ever hour until you give us any rating, and you should probably buy the ad-free version if you want to see a reasonable amount of your screen. Horton Psychologically Optimal Color Shape Tapper was built so youll make more progress in it, if you buy imaginary items, or power-ups, or whatevers.

Eventually, its not winnable, unless you buy whatevers, but, good luck. To keep it interesting, Ill introduce a new color or shape of whatever, every once in a while. Itll get your brain slightly more high than normal, once.

If you get tired of Hortons Psychologically Optimal Color Shape Tapper, Ive also made Hortons Psychologically Optimal Tapping of Colorful Shapes. Youre hard wired to want to win, no matter how abstract or childish the goal is, and to be chemically rewarded, no matter how trivial the winning is, so the details of my game dont really matter. Sure, I could make the colorful shapes resemble people or creatures, or add some sentences about the storied struggle between certain colorful shapes and other colorful shapes. I could hire a famous celebrity, whos willing to act like bopping cartoons on the top of the head, as an epic quest. – Rally your bravest thumbs. – Beep that beep. laughing This beep gets ya high, so its just colors and shapes. We dont even have to advertise.

Our target market is anyone whos ever had spare time or pooped within the last eight years. – You got anymore of those whatevers? – Oh, as many as you can buy, they basically dont exist. – Perfect. – Perfect. – Hey, you like standup. Come see the Cracked Standup Show. Its happening June 22nd at Meltdown Comic in Los Angeles.

If you want to see amazing comics, including our own Josh Sargent, go to nerdmeltla.comtickets. And if you want to see me do a funny dance, sorry not today.

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