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IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL

IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL Anthony Monopoly is so much fun. I love wasting six hours of my life. Ian SHUT UP!!! – cop siren wails – sighs Man, we are so screwed.

Dont worry, dude, because I got this. A Get Out of Jail Free Card? Do you really think thats gonna get me out of an indecent exposure ticket? Yeah, if real life were more like board games, this wouldnt even be a problem.

Do you realize how stupid itd be if board games were like real life? IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL SNAKES ampampamp LADDERS screaming CHESS Youre a dead man! Bring it on. battle cries Why can I only move in L shapes?

Just come to me! I can only move diagonally. battle cries Dammit! battle cries BATTLESHIP Fire a missile at B9. Firing a missile at B9. BOOM Did-Did we get em?

Uh… Nope, looks like we just hit a busfull of orphan children. agonized screaming You know, we should really come up with a better method than this. Like what? OPERATION And now its time to replace his heart valve. This is a very delicate procedure. – electricity buzzes – screaming Come on, man, you touched his wishbone.

Give me a try. Ugh! I touched his ding dong. – electricity crackles – grunting APPLES to APPLES Hungry Hungry Hippos My god, why are all the hippos dead? Well, I put all their food between the four of them, then I glued their bodies to the ground so they couldnt move, and then I slammed my fist repeatedly on their backs to force their necks to stretch out to try to eat their food.

I dunno. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Twister Oh my god! Hes being ripped apart!

LIFE – baby wails – phone rings Well, this sucks. Cards Against Humanity So what do you like to do in your free time? Jerk off into a pool of childrens tears. I also like fcking children in caves. bop it! game Bop it! – cymbal crash – game Twist it! – spring boings – game Pull it. – whoosh – game Kiss it! – What? – game Kiss it! Just the tip.

NO! game But I love you, babe. game clatters Ew. CANDY LAND Oh, boy! The whole worlds made of candy!

Its a dream come true! cheerful music both gurgle DIABETES ITS NO JOKE See, I told you that would be stupid. Step out of the car, criminal! Im the capt! No! Put your hands in the air and wave em around like you just dont care that youre going to prison for 10-15 years. – For what? – Indecent exposure!

Yeah, well no one would have even seen it if you didnt pull me out of the car! Yeah, I guess its pretty – BULL SHT!! – Anthony yelps Wait… what the heck in the world is that? Anthony whimpers Get Out of Jail Free Card? Okay, youre good to go, sir.

Sweet! laughing STOP RIGHT THERE! gunfire Thats for leaving the scene of a crime. Have a good day now! Justice serveeeed! cop Hey there, buckos!

Click the subscribe button for a Get Out of Jail Free Card so I dont bust a cap in your ass. Click the article on the left for bloopers and to see a deleted scene from Guess Who. Do you recognize any of these– Its number three.

No, no, let me guess. cop And click the article on the right to watch Every Instagram Ever. lisping Sir, youve been here for three hours. Could you please just eat your food and leave? No, were good. – dish shatters – Ill accept the check, please. cop And if youre watching this on one of those fancy mobile phones or tablets, all the links are in the description below. Bye bye now. I gotta go shoot some more people.

IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL Anthony Monopoly is so much fun. I love wasting six hours of my life. Ian SHUT UP!!! – cop siren wails – sighs Man, we are so screwed. Dont worry, dude, because I got this.

A Get Out of Jail Free Card? Do you really think thats gonna get me out of an indecent exposure ticket? Yeah, if real life were more like board games, this wouldnt even be a problem.

Do you realize how stupid itd be if board games were like real life? IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL SNAKES ampampamp LADDERS screaming CHESS Youre a dead man! Bring it on. battle cries Why can I only move in L shapes? Just come to me! I can only move diagonally. battle cries Dammit! battle cries BATTLESHIP Fire a missile at B9.

Firing a missile at B9. BOOM Did-Did we get em? Uh…

Nope, looks like we just hit a busfull of orphan children. agonized screaming You know, we should really come up with a better method than this. Like what? OPERATION And now its time to replace his heart valve.

This is a very delicate procedure. – electricity buzzes – screaming Come on, man, you touched his wishbone. Give me a try. Ugh!

I touched his ding dong. – electricity crackles – grunting APPLES to APPLES Hungry Hungry Hippos My god, why are all the hippos dead? Well, I put all their food between the four of them, then I glued their bodies to the ground so they couldnt move, and then I slammed my fist repeatedly on their backs to force their necks to stretch out to try to eat their food. I dunno.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. Twister Oh my god! Hes being ripped apart! LIFE – baby wails – phone rings Well, this sucks. Cards Against Humanity So what do you like to do in your free time?

Jerk off into a pool of childrens tears. I also like fcking children in caves. bop it! game Bop it! – cymbal crash – game Twist it! – spring boings – game Pull it. – whoosh – game Kiss it! – What? – game Kiss it! Just the tip. NO! game But I love you, babe. game clatters Ew.

CANDY LAND Oh, boy! The whole worlds made of candy! Its a dream come true! cheerful music both gurgle DIABETES ITS NO JOKE See, I told you that would be stupid. Step out of the car, criminal!

Im the capt! No! Put your hands in the air and wave em around like you just dont care that youre going to prison for 10-15 years. – For what? – Indecent exposure!

Yeah, well no one would have even seen it if you didnt pull me out of the car! Yeah, I guess its pretty – BULL SHT!! – Anthony yelps Wait… what the heck in the world is that? Anthony whimpers Get Out of Jail Free Card? Okay, youre good to go, sir. Sweet! laughing STOP RIGHT THERE! gunfire Thats for leaving the scene of a crime.

Have a good day now! Justice serveeeed! cop Hey there, buckos! Click the subscribe button for a Get Out of Jail Free Card so I dont bust a cap in your ass. Click the article on the left for bloopers and to see a deleted scene from Guess Who. Do you recognize any of these– Its number three.

No, no, let me guess. cop And click the article on the right to watch Every Instagram Ever. lisping Sir, youve been here for three hours. Could you please just eat your food and leave? No, were good. – dish shatters – Ill accept the check, please. cop And if youre watching this on one of those fancy mobile phones or tablets, all the links are in the description below. Bye bye now.

I gotta go shoot some more people.

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